and this is what i miss...

So here's the thing...

life has been really good to me.

And it has given me a LOT of super great memories in the short span of 22 years that is my lifetime.

And the thing about memories is this:

they leave you with a lot of things to miss...

So here are just a few of the millions of things that I kinda miss right now:

(1) Morning swimming lessons at the Racquet Club. and the smell of summer. and laying on the warm tennis court after swimming.

(2) Walking to school with Sophie and Sterling, down Buffalo Trail...all the way to Washington Elementary.

(3) Walk-a-thons 

(4) Mowing lawns with my pod.

(5) Pulling weeds at the old storage units.

(6) Skiing at Teton Village with the whole family.

(7) Cross country: the team, the practices, the meets...

(8) Pizza/Grilled cheese sandwich day at Washington Elementary.

(9) Mooije (my first puppy).

(10) My super cool bedroom (with colorful handprints all over the walls and ceiling) in the old house.

(11) The old house [136 S. 8th]

(12) Dressing like a boy, my whole childhood.  Cargo pants with a billion pockets.

(13) Grandma Elaine Hofman.

(14) Grandpa Hugh Lynn Brown.

(15) Jablonskie (only the best hamster ever).

(16) The scratchy/velvety walls in the computer room in the old house.

(17) Mr. Stubbs

(18) Dutch Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Hofman.

(19) Morning walks with dad, dumpster diving and spitting on trains from the Benton overpass.

(20) Singing along to songs recorded from the radio, onto tapes.  With Sophie. In our old bedroom. Using hairbrushes as microphones. 

"I wanna stand with you on a mountain!" 

"Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayers..."

(21) The old suburban.  The one with the blue stripe and the really low backseat.

(22) The coolest friend group EVER [Krista, Tom, Tyson, Jeff, Chelsea, Tiffany, Brittani, Heather, Dallon, Josh...] 

(23) Late night chats with mom and dad, on their bed.

(24) Gate City Singers and early morning practice.

(25) Musicals [Oklahoma, Little Shop of Horrors, Joseph, How to Succeed in Business]

(26) Mrs. Gray and pottery class.

(27) Mikey McFarland and Kelby Smith.

(28) Steve and Joni Bateman.

(29) Movie nights on my back porch.

(30) Lunch in the seminary building, almost every day of high school.

(31) Being roommates with Victoria Ann Mansfield [Bradford].

(32) Bonfires up the canyon.

(33) JERUSALEM, ISRAEL

(34) Chloe "Kliwi" Ence.

(35) History class with Tiffany Jackman (and getting back scratches from her every day).

(36) Huge slices of bread from Great Harvest for 50 cents.

(37) Krista Nadine Call (aka Paulie)

(38) Helaman Halls...and the freshman meal plan-Dining Plus.

(39) Joshua James Huntsman.

(40) Dancing at the cabin with my niece Hadlee.

(41) The cousin crew

(42) Kate the Great Smith

(43) Cleaning Grandma Hofman's house once a week. And listening to Disney/Musical soundtracks.  And talking to Grandma and getting the best girl advice ever from her.

(44) The biggest and coolest backyard ever.

(45) Sunday walks at the cemetery with Mario and Regina...and feeding the squirrels.

(46) Steve Jolley and Ana Marie Talley.

(47) Gate City Youth Soccer League.

(48) Making leaf piles at recess.

(49) Mini chocolate milk cartons for snack time, every day in kindergarten.

(50) Dance parties with my parents and siblings, at the cabin.

[i'd say that's a pretty good start to the things I miss.

I could keep going...

but then we'd all be here for a billion hours...

and let's be real, no one wants that.

so i'll just stop now].

Cheers to the happiness that has come into my life for every single thing I have listed today :)  

stuff.

So I graduated from BYU last week-woot WOOT!

To begin this new phase of my life, I decided to move to a new apartment complex.

[3 years at the Villa was enough.  I did my time there.  It was time to move on.]

I decided it was time for a FRESH START.

So it's a commonly understood fact that in order to move, you usually have to PACK.

Well, I'm just gonna be completely honest right now:

 i'm a TERRIBLE packer/mover.

I got to the point where I was just throwing stuff in boxes.

[no organization]

and I got to the point where I realized that I have too much STUFF in my life.

How in the world have I acquired so much STUFF?  

I'm a 22 year old girl.  What the heck?

But seriously.

I got a little overwhelmed with how much STUFF I own.  

And how much of this STUFF is so useless.  

And how much of this STUFF is completely unnecessary for me to function.

And how much of this STUFF is merely from my wants, not my needs.

Let's be real.  Do I REALLY need the following things?

-2 empty glass coca-cola bottles

-a wad of sticky tack

-3 boxes of books

-a tiny tin box

-27 pairs of earrings

-a bag of used gift bags

-3 bike helmets

-17 pairs of shoes

-2 dvd players

-a pack of blank dvds that I got for free, that i have never used

-a box of used notebooks

-a Christmas tree stand

-a bag of 15 scarves

-30 plastic tupperwares

-a closet full of clothes + a dresser full of clothes + multiple boxes of clothes

-random bag clips

-more junk

I think it is time for me to:

de-junk.

feng-shui.

release.

I've come to realize that STUFF doesn't make me happy.

The PEOPLE in my life make me happy.

The EXPERIENCES in my life make me happy.

The MOUNTAINS and TREES and RIVERS and SUNSHINE make me happy.

If you are in my same position, I urge you to SIMPLIFY.

Let go of some of your STUFF.

It will make you so much happier.

Cheers to SIMPLICITY :)

my personal MANIFESTO.

It is April 14, 2012 and it’s the end of another semester at BYU.  But for me, this semester’s end is different.  Really different.  It’s different because I’m graduating next week.  I’m done.  After 16 years of school, I am finally and officially DONE.  It feels so weird.  I don’t really know how to wrap my head (or my heart) around it entirely. As I look back on the past 16 years, a lot of memories come to mind.  I have learned so much in the past 16 years.  So much about life.  So much about how to work through problems and how to communicate and how to think.

Taking MCOM 320 this semester has really opened my eyes to a few things.  I say this in all sincerity.  I’ll be completely honest, I wasn’t super stoked to take this class.  I took it because I had to, because my major required it, because I wouldn’t be able to graduate without it.  Looking back now, I’m so glad I had to take it.  So glad I GOT to take it! 

My teacher, Shayne Clarke, was a riot.  One of the funniest guys I have ever met (literally).  Although he was extremely entertaining, he was also an amazing teacher.  He made me love writing more than I ever have before.  Because he loved writing, he made ME love writing.  He was passionate about writing and it was very evident (in the way he talked about it, in the personal experiences he told us, in the way he wrote his emails to us). 

Probably my favorite thing Shayne had us do was to write a weekly blog.  Now let’s be real, I have never been a good blogger.  I have never been a good journal writer.  Writing has always stressed me out.  I have always felt like I had to live up to some invisible standard of humor and creativity.  So when he first told us about the blog assignment, I immediately felt stressed.  Then he told us we could write on whatever we wanted, however we wanted, as much as we wanted…as long as we were writing.  My stress levels went a notch down.  “I can do this!” I thought to myself. 

So every week I wrote a blog post.  And every week I got more excited to write a blog post.  I had so much freedom in what I could write.  I wrote about things that make me happy, favorite songs, memories of my parents, things I’m grateful for, etc .  The more I wrote, the more I began to enjoy writing!  There was no pressure, no expectations, no specific guidelines I had to follow.  I just had to write and I started to love it!  I found that writing was an escape for me.  It gave me a chance to put my thoughts on paper (or computer).  It was therapeutic to get those things out.  I am a recreational therapy major and I would definitely consider writing to be a form of recreational therapy.

Because of the weekly blog posts I had to write, I have come to love writing more than I ever have before.  I have realized that it’s not as daunting as it seems.  I have realized that I really do like writing.  If I had to classify myself as a certain kind of writer, I would say I’m a creative yet realistic writer.  I write about real life things, but I make them fun to read.  Every time I wrote a blog post, I thought about the audience that would be reading it and I subconsciously aimed it at them.  I thrived on the comments I would receive regarding my different posts.  I loved the feedback I got from people.  I enjoyed writing to an invisible (yet real) audience! 

Through the time I spent writing, I realized that I like writing when I don’t have restrictions.  Restrictions and rules scare me.  They make me feel inadequate.  But when I have the freedom to write what I want, I think I write so much better!  I am definitely more true to myself and my real personality shows through when I am not restricted to write about a certain thing in a certain way.  But I realize that sometimes in life, I’m gonna have to write according to a certain set of rules or guidelines.  That’s okay though!  Because I have learned to love writing, I will look at every opportunity to write as an opportunity to express myself and show my personality.  I will continue to follow rules (if they are set forth) but I will not let those rules inhibit me and keep me from saying what I really want to say.  I will work with the rules and fit in my thoughts and opinions and personality where it is appropriate!

So the moral of the story is that I really have come to love writing.  I am so glad I took MCOM 320…and I’m especially glad I took it from Shayne!  I don’t think my love for writing would have developed so fully if I had a different teacher. 

I absolutely love life and I look forward to the future!  It’s so exciting to not know exactly what my plans are!  I’m gonna take life as it comes and enjoy every second of it!

 Cheers to MCOM 320.  

Cheers to writing.  

Cheers to the future.  

Cheers to life J

tender mercies

life is super busy.

and crazy.

and sometimes I feel like I don't have a hold on things.

but life is also WONDERFUL!

and the Lord is very aware of EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!

Once upon a time Elder Bednar gave a talk titled "The Tender Mercies of the Lord".

I love this talk. 

I love some of the things he said:

 "...the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence."

 "...the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ."

"...as you and I face challenges and tests in our lives, the gift of faith and an appropriate sense of personal confidence that reaches beyond our own capacity are two examples of the tender mercies of the Lord."

"Repentance and forgiveness of sins and peace of conscience are examples of the tender mercies of the Lord."

"The simpleness, the sweetness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live.  "

"When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Ne. 1:20)."

What a guy!  I love Elder Bednar.  

I experienced a little tender mercy this week.

My computer hard drive crashed and I was really sad...

I thought I had lost all of my pictures and journal from Jerusalem. 

 Worst feeling ever. 

I took my computer to some computer guys and they said they would see what they could do (in regards to retrieving all my files).

I went home and said a simple prayer.

I prayed that they would be able to retrieve my stuff from Jerusalem, if nothing else. 

 Jerusalem was one of the most life changing experiences I have ever had and I did not want to lose any of those memories!

They called the next morning and said they were able to retrieve my stuff!

I was OVERCOME with gratitude.

The Lord is aware and He is very merciful to His children 

(even in the simplest things, like crashing computers).

Cheers to tender mercies :)

Highlights of the last 90 somethin days...

alot of cool things have happened in the last 90+ days.

[some of these things are really simple...

some of these things are a little less simple...]

REGARDLESS, they are all super cool 

(in my book, at least).

• I went to MOAB with one of my favorite sisters and one of my favorite cousins (Sophie and Cees) and we hiked the arches and froze in our tent at night and ate mexican smores and watched crazy people slackline across canyons and flew in a little plane over the canyons and had a TOTAL blast!
• I headed home to Pocatello for the weekend to hang out with my way cool siblings and to go to Lava Hot Springs.
• I went to GENERAL CONFERENCE...at the conference center...with really great company :)
• I got all the way across a SLACKLINE!
• I spent a night hanging out with my good friends (and the coolest couple ever...Tiffany and Matt) and we went to EL SALVADOR and ate papusas.
• I babysat my adorable niece GRACIE and we went swimming and danced and ate yogurt.
• I ground wheat in my wheat grinder and made homemade WHEAT BREAD.
• I participated in a movie [that you may have heard of]..."THE MARRIAGE GAMES"...and we now have over 10,000 hits on YouTube.  nbd.
• I went on a MIDNIGHT bike ride with Oaf and Lurkel (Sophie and Lexi)...my girls.
• I hiked the Y.
• I rode a TANDEM bike all over Provo with a super rad guy :)
• I threw a surprise birthday party for my really cool sister SOPHIE.  The ratio of boys to girls was about 30:1.
• I went SKIING at the Canyons with my cousins.
• I got some FREE t-shirts on campus. I stinkin love free stuff.
• I hung out with my GRANDMA--only the coolest lady ever.
• I broke out my SHORTS because the weather is so amazing!
• I went to KARAOKE night at Pizza Pie Cafe with my twin brother friends Jake and Jordan.
• I threw rocks at the water tower at Rock Canyon Park and it sounded like we were in OUTER SPACE...not even lying...if you have never tried it, then go...RIGHT NOW.
• I saw "We Bought a Zoo"...pretty cute movie :)
• I sold PLASMA.  Multiple times.

So that's not all I did in the last 90 + days...but it's a pretty good list!

Cheers to doing FUN stuff! :)

quote junkie

CONFESSION: I'm kind of a major quote junkie.  

i LOVE quotes.  

i love COLLECTING quotes.

i love DISCOVERING new quotes.

Today I will bless you with some of my favorites...

Here goes:

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to find the best in others; to leave the word a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -Ralph Waldo Emerson 

* * *

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." 

* * *

“We will naturally go downhill if we aren’t working extra hard to go uphill.” –Brother Kerry Muhlestein

* * *

"Nobody escapes this life without learning a thing or two about suffering...be hopeful and prayerful, things have a way of working out!" -Boyd K. Packer

* * *

"Don't cry because it's over...smile because it happened." 

-Dr. Seuss

* * *

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God … and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire.”

–Orson F. Whitney

* * *

"Carpe some Diem!!" -Dr. Zabriskie

* * *

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” –Goethe

* * *

“We who have come out of the world unto Christ by covenant have placed ourselves on a path that leads ultimately to eternal life.  We need to stay on the path, keep walking, and bounce up whenever we fall.  The Keeper of the Gate, the Holy One of Israel, has not placed a ceiling on the number of saved beings; rather, he is ready and willing to heal and empower and redeem and save all who desire these consummate blessings.  He is with us at the starting gate of life’s race, travels along the pathway with us, and waits at the finish line, not alone to certify us but, more important, to welcome us home.” – Robert Millet, Are We There Yet? 36

* * *

"ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING WONDERFUL IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!" 

* * *

"If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live life a lot differently."

* * *

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life.  When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wrote down "happy".  They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." 

-John Lennon

* * * 

Cheers to quotes :)

lyrics and pictures that define my life.

Today we'll take a journey into my life.

[through song lyrics.]

[and pictures.]

here goes nothing:

***************************************************************************

"She gotta condition of the heart 

a heart condition
So as a kid she had to adapt 

to smarter livin'..."

****************************************************

"Even when you're gone

Somehow you come along

Just like a flower poking through a sidewalk crack and just like that 

You steal away the rain and just like that

YOU MAKE ME SMILE!"

****************************************************************************

 "Country roads...
Take me home...
To the place I belong!"

******************************************************

"When you're the best of friends

Having so much fun together

You're not even aware, you're such a funny pair

You're the best of friends!"

******************************************************

"Jerusalem if I forget you

Let my right hand forget what its supposed to do..."

******************************************************

"We're loyal to you Poky High

We're the red and the blue Poky High

We'll back you to stand against the best in the land

For we know you have sand Poky High

RAH RAH!"

********************************************************************

"Gypsies, tramps and thieves

We'd hear it from the people of the town

They'd call us

Gypsies, tramps and thieves..."

*******************************************************************

"Run...

Running all the time...

Running to the future...

With you right by my side..."

*************************************************************************

"See the dog and butterfly

Up in the air he like to fly

Dog and butterfly below she had to try

She roll back down to the warm soft ground

Laughing to the sky, up to the sky

Dog and butterfly..."

****************************************************************

Cheers to pictures.

Cheers to music.

Cheers to life. 

:)